Just Be Mine
by thedrunkgiraffe
Summary: Castiel, 19, has a huge crush on his brother-in-law's brother, Dean, 30. Despite Dean pursuing a relationship with Bela (Castiel's junior high bully), he might just end up in Castiel's arms just the way he's secretly always wanted.
1. Chapter 1

"Ooh a Hot Tamale. Is she my birthday present from you, Cassie?" Gabe's eyes travel from Charlie's crimson hair to her shiny blue painted toenails donned in yellow sunflower printed sandals.

Castiel can hear Gabriel open the front door from where he's setting up his iPod in the living room. He closes his eyes and silently apologizes to his friend that she's been exposed to Gabriel's harassment yet again.

"Ew, Gabe. Hey, Castiel!" The ever-confident Charlie ignores the derogatory words and steps inside from the front patio and sidesteps Gabriel, calling out to Castiel.

"Hey, Charlie." Castiel appears from the living room on the right. He smiles and pulls her into a hug, letting his hand tenderly linger on her waist.

"One day, char, one day." Gabriel shuts the front door, swivels on his heel and heads for the kitchen. Most likely trying to take a bite out of his birthday cake early.

"C'mon. You can change in my room." Castiel says laughing. His hand resting on Charlie's waist moves to grasp her hand. He leads her over to the carpeted stairs to walk them both up to his room.

As soon as the door is shut Charlie strips off her shirt. Something that was not unusual between them due to Castiel's preference of guys and Charlie's preference of girls. Not to mention the fact that they've been best friends since they were three and were just generally completely comfortable around each other.

"So, who's even coming to this shindig?" A perplexed expression flashes across her face as she tries to figure out the many strings on her sister, Anna's bathing suit.

"Same people as always. Family, family friends." Castiel ties the strings hanging on Charlie's neck as she crouches in front of him. "I don't know how many times I can thank you for coming to these stupid family parties for me." He thinks back a couple weeks when Charlie had come to his rescue at the family dinner where his brother Michael was introducing his new girlfriend. Being an attendee of the dinner, Charlie noticed the escalating anger and tension between Michael and his twin brother. Quickly she faked a stomachache, claiming Castiel was her only way home. Instead of having to be a witness of a full-blown family fight, Castiel and Charlie drove around their town laughing about nonsense and listening to vapid music.

"What would you do without me? How's it look?" She places a hand on her hip and pops it out.

"I'd probably just stay in here avoiding all social interaction, bored as hell." His eyes scan the pink polka dotted bandeau top and matching bikini bottoms. "Looks cute. But, double knot the bottom strings tighter. I guarantee Gabe will make an attempt to undo them."

Doing as he says she makes a second knot and pulls tight.

"All righty. All ready to go?"

Castiel looks down at his red polo shirt and black swim trunks, frowning at the ketchup stain from his breakfast earlier on his shirt. _Not again. You're hopeless, Castiel._ He pulls the shirt over his head and throws it in his laundry basket. He flashes a smile towards Charlie. "Yep."

"So, does this mean Dean's coming?" Charlie dips a toe into the pool water to test the temperature.

"Jess said Sam invited him. But who knows?" Castiel knew. He knew Dean would go to anything his little brother invited him to. Not too mention Dean had, on several occasions, commented on how Chuck, Castiel's father, made the "best damn burgers on Heaven and Earth." There was no way he would be missing a Novak barbeque.

"So, if you dated your sister's husband's brother would that be weird?" Charlie tilts her head up and stares off in thought. "If you guys got married that would make your sister your sister-in-law. Or would it? Damn, that's confusing."

"I don't-" Castiel began, but was cut off by his mother calling him.

"Castiel, did you get the ice like I asked?"

"Yes, mom. I already put it in the buckets in addition to the drinks."

A soft smile spreads across his mother's lips. "Thank you, Castiel. Now where's your little brother?"

"I've no idea. Probably near the candy bar." Castiel's head nods towards the sliding doors that lead to the inside of their house.

"Cassie, Char get in the pool." Alfie, Castiel's four-year-old brother, calls out to them from the shallow end of the pool.

Castiel walks over to a large bucket overflowing with pool toys, happy for the distraction from Dean. Dean, Castiel's childhood crush ever since his sister, Jess, had brought over her boyfriend and his brother to the weekly family dinner. Eyes quickly skimming the toys, he finds Alfie's favorite superhero. With a toss an Iron Man decorated floatie floats on wind before smacking onto the water. Castiel dives into the circle of the floatie and tows it over to Alfie. Immediately, Alfie attaches himself to Castiel's back, tiny fingers clinging to his chest. "To the deep end!"

Charlie laughs from the pool deck and finally lowers herself into the pool from the ladder.

That was the last few minutes of calm around the pool before the party start time arrived and people arrived in droves. The Novaks just couldn't resist a large blowout for any occasion, and luckily their house was large enough to accommodate many people.

"Can we get out of here? I'm sweating more than a hooker in a Church in here." Charlie sticks out her tongue in a pant for added emphasis.

"But there's so many people in the pool." Castiel pouts, his social anxiety presenting its control over him again.

"We can chill in the deep end. Its mostly children hanging out in the shallow end. Please?" Charlie flashes Castiel her ever persuasive smile.

Castiel looks out to the pool and sees younger cousins, siblings and only a couple parents floating around the stairs of the shallow end. He rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh. "Fine."

Charlie abruptly jumps out of the Jacuzzi, splashing water onto the pavement the couple step distance between diving board and Jacuzzi. She steps up on the diving board and does a rather graceful cannonball, water sloshing against the tiles on the side of the pool.

Slowly, Castiel rises from the Jacuzzi and lowers himself into the pool. Each inch that he lowered himself sent prickles of cold through the area of skin before acclimating to the new temperature, which was undeniably a much more comfortable temperature than the spa. After dunking his head in the water, he rises up with dripping hair. Through his hair he can see just the outline of the pool deck, his elbow finds a comfortable position on the side of the pool deck, keeping himself afloat in the water so he can push his wet hair back from his eyes.

Charlie swims over to him and mimics his position. "Oh, shit. Look who it is, Castiel. You're lover."

Castiel turns his head towards the sliding door. Sure enough Dean Winchester is entering his backyard.

Castiel groans, "He's not my lover. Ugh he's going to shamelessly flirt with me. Hide me." Castiel's eyes dart around the pool and found it would be rather difficult to be inconspicuous in a large body of clear water.

"Oh, psh. Like you don't love when he flirts with you. How long has this been going on anyways? And why are you two still not dating?"

"Um maybe because I'm 19 and he's 30. And maybe because his brother is married to my sister. And he's rude." Castiel keeps his head staring straight ahead in the opposite direction of where he had just seen Dean. Despite his words, Castiel was fully aware that Dean had only ever been too sweet to Cas aside from the joking.

"That's only eleven years. And well you guys wouldn't have to have two separate Christmases; it's all in the family then. That makes it sound weird…There is no actual relation between you two. And, Castiel, that's a lie he's really nice to you."

"Not when he's jokingly flirting with me."

"Hey, Cas." Castiel stills as he hears the voice from behind him. Slowly, he turns to find Dean bobbing up and down in the water, struggling to stay afloat.

Squinting his eyes, Castiel replies, "Hello, Dean." His eyes can't help but peer at Dean's chest. Despite being distorted by the waves of water, he can still clearly see the defined muscles. And _damn_ his hair is wet and slicked back, and his eyelashes have tiny drops of water seemingly adhered to them shading bright green eyes. Something Castiel can't take his focus off of now. Dean blinks and the water droplets flutter off into the pool.

"Damn, you're looking fit. You been working out?" Dean reaches out and squeezes Castiel's bicep.

Quickly Castiel withdraws his arm away. The feel of Dean's hand on his arm is definitely welcome, but not when it's meant to embarrass Cas.

"Ew, Dean." Ducking his head under the water, Cas swims past a now smirking Dean.

Charlie shares a smile with Dean before following Castiel towards the shallow end of the pool.

"He does it just to get a rise out of me." Castiel drones on to Charlie, his eyes following Dean as he jumps out of the pool and walks over to the snack table. He thinks he could just sit there all day counting the freckles distinctly splayed across Dean's shoulders and back. Or perhaps count the number of drips of water dropping from his blue swim trunks onto the cement. He thinks he'll stick with counting ass cheeks. Two. And what a fine ass it is.

"I don't know. I think he genuinely likes you. You just give him the cold shoulder."

"I'm giving him the satisfaction he gets from taunting me. I need to not."

"Deannie!"

"Oh no." Castiel groans for the second time today.

"Who's that?" Charlie nods to the pretty brunette briskly walking over to the snack table.

"Bela."

"The one that tormented you throughout junior high?"

"Yes."

"Why is she here?"

"She's still one of Jessica's friends." The corners of Castiel's mouth draw down as he watches Bela stroking Dean's still glistening wet muscly arms. Faintly Justin Bieber's _That Should Be Me_ starts playing in his head. "I'm betting they sleep together today."

"At a kid's party?"

"Oh she's shameless. She slept with my cousin at Jess's graduation. Did not need to hear those details from him the day after."

"Damn. You better make a move fast, Castiel. She's gunna take your man."

"She's closer in age to him. They'd make a decent couple." Castiel can feel his stomach twist in envy as he watches Bela share a pool chair with Dean. He clears his throat, "Are you hungry?"

Charlie gives Castiel a sympathetic look as she saw his expression. "Yeah, let's go get some hot dogs."

They clamber up the steps to the food table.

_Splurt_. Ketchup sputters out of the bottle onto Castiel's hotdog and fries.

"So, that's how you ended up with a ketchup stain earlier." Charlie laughs, handing him a napkin.

"Hot dogs are bland without ketchup. It's not my fault the bottles are faulty. Dr. Pepper?"

Charlie nods and Castiel goes further down the line of tables to the beverage table. Reaching out to grab two cups, Castiel's hand meets with another, rough hand. Keeping his hand there for just a few seconds too long, he finally pulls his hand back.

"Here you go." Dean smiles handing him two cups.

"Thank you." Castiel grabs the Dr. Pepper bottle and starts pouring it in the red plastic cups. "Are you having fun with Bela?"

"Yeah, but between you and me she's a little handsy. Not sure I'm really into the whole PDA thing, you know?"

Castiel laughs, remembering Dean bringing Lisa, a former girlfriend, to a family gathering and them being all over each other. "If I'm not mistaken you usually reject her."

"Eh, I wasn't ever really feeling it with her before, but I don't know we've been talking recently…Is it weird to go out with your little brother's friends?"

"I wouldn't know. My closest younger sibling is twelve. That would be illegal…Wait is that why you usually stop her advances? You think it's weird to date your brother's acquaintances?"

"I mean there's one I've thought of making that exception for, but that's never really panned out. I'm not having any other luck right now, might as well make an attempt with Bela, right?"

"Yeah, you never know, you might make a really great couple."

"Well I better go bring her this lemonade. Good talking to you, Cas."

"Yeah, same to you, Dean."

"Where is my bubbly sugary drink?" Charlie bounces over to Cas, grabbing the cup waiting on the light blue tablecloth. She takes a sip. "Mmm. Where are we going to sit?"

"Ugh, did you see his toned muscles? I could just lick him up and down." Castiel is no longer pretending to dislike Dean in the safety of just Charlie's presence. He had mentioned his crush to Charlie several times. And after every conversation he had with Dean he would immediately text Charlie gushing about him, and this was no different.

"Castiel, buddy, you need to tap that."

"Charlie, if he were down, the things I would do to him…" Castiel lies back onto his bed looking up at the ceiling.

"So, why not go after him?" Charlie throws a dorito into her mouth and crunches on it.

"There's so many reasons. Firstly, he wouldn't want me. Secondly there's over a ten year difference. Thirdly his brother is married to my sister."

"Castiel, we've been over this. You're 19, he's 30. You're both adults. Do either of you really give a shit that your siblings are in-laws? And you know he wants you, stop saying that. I saw you two looking all gooey eyed at each other."

"He did mention he had liked one of Sam's acquaintances but I'm not really an acquaintance, I'm his brother-in-law. Who was it then?"

"He _was_ talking about you dumbass. Who else would he be talking about? He was trying to tell you to go after him."

"Even if he was-"

"I don't want to hear it Castiel. Tomorrow we enact a plan for you to get Dean Winchester. And when you two are having your engagement party I full expect you to thank me for getting you two together."

"You don't even know if it's going to work. In fact, you don't even _have_ a plan."

"I will, tomorrow. For now, we watch a movie, because I am exhausted."

"What movie should we watch?" Castiel rolls off his bed and browses his wall of DVDs. He dumps a handful of DVDs onto the floor in front of his bed.

Leaning over the edge of the bed, Charlie inspects the DVDs.

"Hmm. Winter Soldier. You can never go wrong with Scarlett Johansson."

Castiel pops the DVD out of its case and pushes it into his PlayStation. He takes a deep breath thankful that in the safety of his room they were away from the commotion of Gabe opening his presents.

"Shit my controller is in the guest room." Castiel gets up from his cross-legged position to go through the joined bathroom.

He searches for where Gabriel had hid it from him. For some reason this was a weekly occurrence of Gabriel stealing all of Castiel's controllers and remotes and scattering them around the empty guest room next door to him.

He bends down to check under the bed. He scoots farther under the king sized bed, thinking he saw the outline of the blue controller. As he was reaching out to grab it, he hears the door open and watches two sets of feet walk into the room and then disappear above the bed.

"Ah Dean, fuck." He hears Bela's voice followed by a moan. Moans and the sounds of clothing being taken off freeze Castiel to where he is hidden under the bed. His eyes slowly look up as he sees the bed dipping down and then going back up again.

His mouth forms an "Ew", but nothing comes out. He knows he has to get the fuck out of there. Slithering out from under the bed, he snakes his way to the bathroom door. In the darkness of the bathroom he opens the door to his bedroom and crawls in before shutting the door silently behind him.

"Oh God, Charlie. Fucking. Traumatized." Castiel takes a headfirst dive into his bed.

"Cas, what happened?" Charlie's voice oozes with concern for her friend currently groaning into the comforter.

"Dean. Bela. Fucking."

Charlie's eyes go wide. "You saw them having sex?"

Castiel nods his head in the bedding.

"Damn, this puts a little kink in our plan doesn't it?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Any salsas?" Cas gestures to the five metal containers under the sneeze guard holding an array of mild to spicy sauces.

"Just guacamole, please." The customer, a man in a suit looking all business like, points to the green chunky substance.

Cas slops a glob of it onto the burrito and wraps the burrito up in the technique that took him a week to learn. "Naomi will take care of the rest for you." He offered a smile to the man while sliding the burrito over to the other counter near the cash register.

He walked back over to the beginning of his station. Mixing the beans a bit, he notices the next customer. Without looking up he asks, "Hi, what can I get you?"

"Castiel? Ha. This is great." The snicker following the statement causes a queasiness in Cas.

Cas looks up to see Bela standing shoulder to shoulder with Dean. His eyes grow wider as the blush on his cheeks grows larger.

"I want a picture. So, I can post it online. Everyone needs to see this. Ha, little Castiel Novak putting rice in burritos for people. This is priceless." She slides out her phone from the front of her unnecessarily expensive purse.

With a disgusted look on his face, Dean speaks. "Hey, c'mon. He's just doing his job." Dean grabs the phone from her hands and shoves in the back of his pocket. "And besides I've had one of his burritos before. They're fucking delicious." He smiles at Castiel.

"I'm just joking around. Besides its just Castiel." She waves at Cas. "He's like made to be the butt of the joke." She attempts to mumble to herself, despite Dean and Cas being able to hear her.

Cas glances at the line that is steadily building up and then looks to his left at his coworker glaring at him; three burritos lined up.

He took a deep breath to steady himself. "What can I get for you two? Black or pinto beans?"

"Pinto, please." Dean replies. "And then just some red chili sauce."

Bela's eyebrows draw down in an angry manner at Dean, but she doesn't say anything.

Quickly, Cas pours the ingredients on top of the chicken and rice and wraps them up.

"Naomi will fill your drink order." He briefly looks up from the burritos; Dean is smiling.

"Nice seeing you, Cas."

Cas returns a smile and walks back to his original position to do, well, his job.

After a few more customers, the crowd dies down and his break has soon arrived. With a plate of chicken, rice, and beans, he takes his cap and apron off and goes to find an empty table.

He scans the room, there are plenty of available tables, and now he has to choose the one that is most isolated. Contemplating a table in the corner, his eyes are drawn to a certain well-built sandy blond haired man sitting by himself.

"Dean?" Castiel's eyebrows draw together confused.

Dean looks up from taking a bite out of his burrito. "Cas!" His eyes look around the restaurant and then settle back on Castiel's plate. "Is it your lunch? Sit." He motions towards the empty seat across from him.

Obligingly, Cas takes the seat, setting his lunch on the table, his cup of water bumping against Dean's plate.

"Where's Bela?"

"She ditched me." Dean said matter of factly. "Said she had to go to some store sale. Pretty sure she just wanted to show me off to her friends at the bank earlier. So, I get paraded around _and_ I get to pay for lunch to eat by myself."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Cas scoops up some rice on his fork.

"Nah, its cool. I'd much rather eat lunch with you, anyways."

Cas tilts his head down and smiles to himself. "Were her friends surprised she could actually get a guy to go out with her? Let alone someone as good looking as you are."

"I'm pretty sure one of them mumbled something about her paying me. I wish."

"So, why are you going out with her then?" Cas asked genuinely confused as to why Dean would want to go out with someone who obviously makes him miserable.

"Can I be honest with you?"

Cas slowly nodded his head, scared of what was to come next.

"I'm thirty years old and all I've ever had is fuck buddies. I just want something serious. I'm tired of that awful feeling waking up next to someone you know – or you hope – you'll never see again. I will say the sex is less passionate, but at least I know for now she's not going anywhere, ya know?"

"Yeah, now that Bela Talbot has you, she is never letting you go."

A certain kind of horror flashes across Dean's eyes.

"I'm kidding. Mostly."

"So, what about you? You got anyone?"

"There is this one person I'm interested in, but it's all complicated. Besides in two months I'm transferring schools and I'll be three hours away from here."

"You're moving? Where to?" Dean takes a sip of his soda and folds up the remains of his burrito in the tin foil.

"Wichita. The university there has a great program for my major."

"Hey! I got a job offer there. That's exciting, though. Moving from a tiny community college to an actual university. You going to get an apartment or dorming?"

"Apartment; that's why I'm working this job. I don't want to depend on my parents' money entirely."

"Good on you man. Got more guts than I do."

"So, are you going to take the job?"

"Eh, I wasn't really considering it, but hey if there's someone I know there it might not be too bad, right? Especially someone as charmingly handsome as you." Dean winks.

Here we go again. This time Cas decides he would play along. "Don't uproot your life on my account." Cas smirks, though deep down he knows his heart would do literal backflips if he knew Dean moved to a whole other city a couple hours away just for him.

"But think about it, we could share an apartment, cut the costs, cook hamburgers and burritos. Could be really fun."

"You really think so?" Cas tells himself not to get his hopes up, but just can't help it.

"Yeah, why the hell not? Except, you know, you and I living together people might get ideas." Dean wiggles his eyebrows in what seems is an elaborate choreographed dancing of eyebrows.

"Novak, you're on dishes." Cas's eyes snap up from their focused attention on Dean's seemingly photoshopped forest green eyes. His eyes move from Naomi to his watch. Damn an hour had passed already. He knew he shouldn't have spent so long preparing the chicken to the right crispiness.

"Well, I have to return to work. It was nice eating lunch with you, Dean."

"Not much eating." Dean nods towards Cas's plate still full of chicken and a scattering of beans.

Cas laughs, "I guess not." He gets up with his plate and cup in hand. "Goodbye, Dean."

Dean gets up and gives Cas a goodbye hug. Totally normal for your brother-in-law's brother to do right? "Later, Cas. I'm serious about the apartment thing, though. Let me know." He lets go of Cas and grabs his jacket off of the back of the chair.

Cas smiles and throws his food away before making his way to the back of the kitchen. The rest of work was made easy with the warm comfort knowing Dean would be willing to live with socially awkward Castiel. Although he was left itching to grab his phone and text Charlie but the frequent check ins from his manager made that impossible.

Castiel goes home that night and stays up until 2 am texting Charlie. His laptop has two tabs open. One with all of the details of his two bedroom he will move into on August 7th. The other with the list of roommates he was deciding between.

He goes to sleep thinking of what breed of dog he wants to adopt to keep him company in his new apartment and also to be his emotional support dog for when he goes in public places, excluding classes.

_Ding! _Cas is woken up by a text message. He picks up his phone from its resting position on the floor next to his bed. 8:00 glares at him through his squinting eyes. He peers at whom the message is from.

Dean W.

7:59 am: Hey thought you might want to know there's a documentary on language studies after that Not-Natural show on channel 5 tonight :)

Castiel's heart felt a rise in temperature. Dean was showing an interest in Castiel's rather obscure major.

He quickly replies.

8:03 am: That sounds interesting. I'll check it out. Thank you.

Before doing the whole agonizing waiting for a reply thing that seemed to be a thing Cas had done previously when Dean texted asking a question about the family's plans, he rolls out from under his comforter and stands up. He sways a little bit from the rather short six hours of sleep.

Food could be a great distraction he decides. Pocketing his phone in the back of his pajama pants and he walks downstairs.

"Good morning, Castiel." His mother is standing by the stove flipping pancakes.

His mouth salivates as he glances at the maple syrup waiting for him to drown his pancakes with.

"Would you mind waking up your little brothers?"

Running his hands through his sticky uppy hair he nods and makes his way back up the stairs. A little drowsy he leans into Gabriel's door to open it.

"Breakfast." He mumbles. His brother sits unmoving hidden under the covers.

"Come on, Gabe. Breakfast is ready." Cas walks over to the side of the bed and pulls back the covers. He's met with a hiss and a glare.

"Pancakes. With chocolate chips."

Gabriel immediately perks up and gets out of bed making a bee line out of his room and to the stairs.

_Next brother. _

He opens the door next to Gabriel's room and finds his youngest brother in a mess of blankets and stuffed animals and various pillows. Alfie had picked up a habit of stealing pillows from members of his family. This had created a mound of pillows for him to be surrounded by, and for Castiel to sleep with a single pillow ever since.

"Alfie." He whispers, gently nudging the young boy.

"Huh." One eye stays closed as the other only half opens to look at Cas. Alfie swipes his hand across his mouth, a smear of drool being cleaned up by his sleeve.

"Breakfast."

With the energy expected to come from a four-year-old, Alfie jumps up from out of his bed.

Castiel laughs and turns around to bend down in front of the bed. Alfie climbs onto his back and wraps his feet around Cas's waist. His arms find their way comfortably around Castiel's neck and they begin their descent back to the kitchen.

"Jess is coming over for dinner tonight. She says she has an announcement." Cas's mom, Becky, uses a spatula to drop two pancakes on his plate.

"Hopefully, she's decided to go back to school and get her Masters." Cas's dad flips the page of the newspaper.

Rolling her eyes, Becky responds, "She's enjoying being a teacher, Chuck. Anyways, who's going to help me make ribs for tonight?" Her eyes jump from Cas to Gabe to Alfie.

"I'll make dessert." Gabe volunteers.

"I can do the grocery shopping." Cas offers, pouring orange juice into his Batman shakey cup (Alfie had insisted).

"Can I rub the sauce on the ribs?" Alfie asks, the last of the boys to offer their help.

"That would be lovely of all of you. I'm giving you free reign on dessert, Gabe. And I'll make up a list in a bit for you to do the shopping, Cas." She smiles at her sons.

Ten hours later and the family is back at the dining table with the addition of Jess.

"These ribs are great." Jess compliments spooning more mashed potatoes on to her plate.

"I helped make them!" Alfie says, beaming with proud.

"Really? Well job well done."

"Okay, stop torturing us. What's the news?" Their mother asks, gripping her knife a little too hard, knuckles white.

Jess laughs. "It's good news really. I'm pregnant!"

It takes a second to register with the family. But when it does they're all smiles and hugs.

"Why isn't Sam here? Isn't this a big announcement for your family?" Chuck asks, releasing Jess from a bear hug.

"He's with Dean, telling him right now. We wanted to tell our families at the same time."

Castiel was confused for a bit. Why hadn't they just invited Dean to dinner too? That was a norm for the family. He realizes that Sam probably wanted to share the moment just with Dean. He sympathizes as he's glad Jess is here just with their immediate family.

As they're eating Gabe's chocolate chip cookies, Cas feels his phone vibrate.

He slides it open and reads the text.

Dean W.

6:37 pm: Awesome news! We're gunna be uncles!

6:38 pm: Exciting indeed. I'm very happy for them; they're going to make great parents.

6:38 pm: They're gunna be friggin' badass parents. Ah damn can we just make a pact now to spoil the shit out of this kid?

6:39 pm: Ha ha agreed.

Castiel suddenly remembers a shirt he had seen a couple days ago that was perfect for the new Winchester - Novak baby. He pulls up the link to a onesie with text reading "Accio milk."

6:40 pm: Perfect for their baby?  …

6:41 pm: So. Fucking. Perfect.

Castiel drifts to sleep that night with thoughts of other geeky attire he can get for his new niece or nephew.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Hi! Thank you all for your nice comments! I'm aiming at wrapping this up in a happy ending at around five or six chapters, so almost there._

_Possible trigger warning: panic attacks_

"I swear my family waits until the last possible minute to get packed." Castiel groans. He, Charlie, and Dean were in the living room with all their luggage waiting for the Novaks.

Dean checks his watch. "Jess and Sam aren't even here yet. Sam _knows_ I like getting there as early as possible." His leg has not stopped shaking since taking the seat on the floral couch.

"Chill. We still got two hours until the flight leaves." Gabriel stumbles down the stairs with his suitcase that is on the verge of exploding.

Dean takes a deep breath, fidgeting with his hands.

"Its okay, Dean. I too like having ample time to prepare for boarding." Cas pipes up.

"Agita, again?" Charlie frowns rubbing soothing circles on Cas's back.

"I'm fine once I actually board the plane."

"Ugh, can we not mention that word. I like to pretend I'm not close to doom." Dean looks at his watch again.

Just then the front door swings open and Sam and Jess come in with Sam carrying a duffle bag and rolling a suitcase behind him.

"Ah, Sam, Jess. Looks like we're all ready to go." Castiel's mom strolls in from the kitchen, carrying a backpack presumably with sandwiches for the entire family.

Cas rolls his eyes.

"Cars all good, let's go pack it up." Castiel's father emerges from the garage.

Two hours later the Novaks and Winchesters are comfortably seated in the airplane.

Chuck and Becky found it necessary to have Gabriel in their row so they could keep an eye on him. Alife insisted he sit next to his older sister, so that made up a row of Alfie, Jess, and Sam. That left Cas, Charlie, and Dean in another row.

"It's only an hour, Dean. We'll be on the ground before you know it." Charlie smiles comfortingly towards Dean.

Cas pulls down the shade. "Look, you can pretend it's the Finding Nemo submarine at Disneyland."

Dean breaths deeply, "That ride makes me claustrophobic."

"Well I get claustrophobic on airplanes, so you're not alone." Cas states grabbing onto Charlie's hand as he suddenly feels the walls of the plane closing in on him.

"Yay a flight with two people who have anxiety flying. This is going to be so much fun." Charlie yelps slightly as she feels her other hand being gripped with the might of a thousand suns. "Okay, close your eyes, both of you. Think of Scarlett Johanson in Iron Man 2…or Gwenyth Paltrow…or Robert Downey Jr. Now put your headphones in and enjoy the view."

Both of them do as she says. Soon she hears relaxing sighs from both of them and a lessening of grip on her hands. And then the plane hits turbulence and Dean abruptly yanks his headphones out.

"What the hell was that?"

Cas with his headphones in and eyes closed doesn't notice.

"Just a little air, no big deal. See we're fine." She nudges Cas for help. He lazily opens his eyes and pulls out one headphone.

"He's freaking the fuck out." She mumbles into her shoulder so only Cas can hear.

"Oh great, fuck. Now I have to pee." Dean grumbles.

"Can you hold it for another…" She glances at her laptop that has the arrival time. "45 minutes?"

"I think the desire to not stand up on a swaying unnatural gravity defying device far outweighs the urge to pee."

"It's probably anxiety pee." Cas speaks.

Deans look at him with a wtf face. "A what pee?"

"An anxiety pee. Right now your body is experiencing a complete imbalance of hormones. A side effect is the feeling of having to pee, but not really having too."

"Ooh look now only 44 minutes left." Charlie points at the laptop screen.

Dean groans. "I need alcohol."

"Unfortunately on such a short flight, they don't offer beverages. I could give you a blowie to calm you down?" Cas jokingly offers.

"Cas, now is not the time to flirt with Dean." Charlie speaks, frowning from the increasingly constricting grasp on her hand.

Dean grunts, pulling down the lap desk in front of him. From Cas's angle the plastic tray hid nothing and he saw a rising in the jeans. _Score._

The rest of the flight is spent in silence, except for the audible deep breaths from Dean.

"Michael said he and Adam were coming to pick us up. Castiel can you call him, please?"

Cas did as his father asked and dialed Michael's number.

By the time they had gathered all their luggage, Michael and Adam had found them in the airport.

"Welcome to Chicago, family!" Michael said after giving each one of them a hug.

They divided up into two groups; one would travel with Michael in his SUV to the house, and the other group with Adam in his 4Runner.

Charlie and Cas sat together in the very back of Michael's car, squished next to two suitcases.

"So, who's Adam again?" Charlie asks.

"Michael's roommate."

"Oh."

"Adam has a cute sister. She's twenty and an undergrad at NYU." Cas says suggestively.

"Hmm, and will we get to meet said sister?"

Cas laughs, "Yeah, she's helping my mom with her new blog."

"So, I guess we don't really have to enact any plan to get you with Dean, huh? Since you two are moving in with each other next month." Charlie changes the subject, not so delicately.

"So, you spent a month contemplating a plan and didn't really come with anything did you?"

"Hey, I came up with an awesome plan. And then a week later, you told me you both had decided to become roommates."

"Yeah, _just_ roommates. He's still dating Bela."

"Oh come on Cas, have you seen any movies? It's a classic scenario. I give you both a week before you're jumping on each other."

Cas rolls his eyes at his over optimistic friend.

A few minutes later they are pulling up to the Novak vacation house. Michael's car runs over the gravel, causing Cas and Charlie to bump up and down, Cas's hair grazing the roof.

As soon as the car is in park, they all flood out of the car.

Cas leads Charlie to their designated room. They both set their suitcases down and make their way downstairs, dodging the rest of the family claiming the different rooms.

Dean looks around the hallway with his duffle bag hanging from his shoulder and an overwhelmed expression.

"First room in the left hallway on the right has a great view, and its own bathroom." Cas whispers to him pointing towards the hall. "If you want to come along me and Charlie are going to the lake right now, to avoid my mom's schedule meeting."

"Thank you." Dean smiles. "Yeah I'll meet you guys down there."

Cas and Charlie continue down the stairs, making sure to avoid the kitchen where Cas's mom was sure to be herding family members. Cas never understood how his mom felt every minute of vacation should be planned. He and most of the other family members ignored her pleas until she gave in and let everyone do their own thing. And besides the whole family knew she just wanted to spend time with her husband, she just liked organization.

"Wow this never stops being gorgeous." Charlie gasped as they walked to the end of the dock.

"Remember that one time you tried to take a picture of it and Gabe knocked you and your camera into the water?" Cas asked sitting down on the end of the dock.

"Yeah, little bastard. He was what like five and being a torment?"

"Wow." Dean whistled.

Cas turned around to see Dean strolling over to them. Cas's eyes followed him as Dean settled next to Cas.

"My dad would have loved to draw this." Dean says, planting his hands behind him.

"It would make a very beautiful drawing." Cas's eyes returned to the rippling water, the sun just hitting the horizon of the water. He imagined the blending of an orange colored pencil with a red one, merging just with a light blue.

"So, the city today!" Charlie exclaims, brushing a comb through her hair.

"I think I might just stay here. I'm not really feeling very well." After the past couple of days of non-stop activities like fishing and visiting several museums, his body had grown tired and decided to give him an ugly stomachache.

"Oh, that's not good. Do you want me to stay here with you?"

"No, its fun going into town, you have to go. I've been several times. I'm fine. Just gunna watch TV." He mumbled tasting something acidic in the back of his throat. He climbs off the bed to make his way downstairs to give Charlie privacy to get ready.

He curls up on the huge couch and turns the TV on. He leaves it on TNT, and finds his eyes fluttering closed.

"Anything good on?" Sam walks in, sitting next to him on the couch.

"Some marathon." Cas mumbles into his arm.

"Ooh, you don't look so good."

"Stomach not feeling well."

"Oh, you want some medicine? A bucket?"

"I'm fine, thanks." Cas sits up, getting the rare subsidence of pain in his stomach.

"Hey, can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure." Cas had only remembered Sam asking him that once and that was when he was asking how he should propose to Jess.

"What do you know about Bela?"

"Um, not much I guess. She went to high school with Jess, that's about all I know."

"Yeah, but she was close friends with Jess in high school. You must have been around her a lot. What was she like?"

"Honestly?"

Sam nods his head.

"She was pretty terrible. She was nice to Jess I suppose. But for some reason she just has a terrible vendetta against me. You know how you taste a horrible food and you feel like everything is about to come up at once? That's how I felt every time I heard her voice."

"Ah damn I'm sorry man." Sam leans in to hug Cas, but leans back again remembering he was ill.

"That pisses me off so much like what a fucking bitch."

"Why are you asking?"

"I didn't already get a good vide from her. And now that she's dating Dean…"

"I get it. I have a plethora of siblings I care for."

"I'd much rather he be with you, to be honest."

Castiel felt this conversation had just become much more uncomfortable. He'd much rather have left it at talking about his childhood bully who was now dating his sister's brother-in-law.

"I remember he would always tell me and Jess how every time he talked to you, you would get flustered. He thought it was cute. And then at Gabe's party he felt it necessary to make commentary on how you were a grown ass man now and it was intimidating. I don't know ever since I met you I always just pictured you as an adult. You are way ahead of your age. Or maybe it's just your vocabulary. Anyways, I better go get Jess. We're supposed to leave in a few minutes."

Sam gets up and the view of such sudden movement sends Cas's head spinning. And then his stomach. He lurches forward, hurling into the trashcan he had set in front of himself.

Sam pats his back, while avoiding looking at the mess.

"Hey, you know what, Dean's not going into the city. I'll go get him. He can watch over you."

Before Cas could protest, Sam was out of the room.

Dean walks in, when Cas is in the middle of emptying his stomach.

"Oh, geez." Dean rushes over to the couch, placing a hand on Cas's back, rubbing in a comforting manner.

The hurling seemed to take a pause and Cas sits up a bit.

"I'm going to go get you a cold towel. And some water?"  
Cas only has enough energy to half shake his head once.

Clasping the trashcan, he realizes the container won't hold much more and panic sets in. That is until Dean returns with another bucket, switching them out. He places the cool water soaked towel on Cas's neck.

From his crouched position Cas can hear a water bottle being opened.

"Here take a small sip."

Cas angles his head slightly to accept the tilted water. "Thank you." He mutters.

"No problem. You need anything else?"

"No, thank you. I actually feel significantly better. I think I got it all out." He leans back slowly, fearing any quick movements will return him to the bucket.

He feels a hand on his clammy forehead.

"You're hot as hell. Let me go get you another towel." When Dean leaves the room, Cas removes the other towel from his neck. The heat emanating from his body had already claimed the towel useless.

"Here you go." Dean pats the towel across Cas's forehead before setting it there. "You maybe want to watch some TV?"

Cas nods his head.

Dean grabs the remote and finds something slightly more entertaining than what's on. He finds shark week and turns up the volume a bit.

"Aw yeah. Friggin' sharks are badass." Dean says smiling as an animatronic shark bites down onto a couch. "Hey, I've seen that guy on Youtube. PhillyD, yeah. You ever see any of his videos?"

Dean turns to look at Castiel who has his whole body stretched out on the couch and ottoman, fast asleep.

Dean laughs and grabs his hand, holding it reassuringly. Dean feels the clammy hand tighten its grasp. He smiles and returns to watching Shark Week, holding Cas's hand in his own.

Dean proves to be a good nurse, because it only takes Cas one day to recover. The next day he takes it easy again and stays home to watch movies with Charlie.

The day after, though, he is fully prepared to go on a boat trip with the whole family.

He relishes in the comfort of being surrounded by family. Charlie is sitting next to him, talking all about how her OTP would love to be in a kayak here, and she's pretty sure she's actually read a fanfiction of something with that story line. Gabe, Michael and his dad are at the end of the boat, fishing. Sam, Alfie, and Dean are in the water swimming around the stationary boat. His mom and Jess are slathering on tanning oil and lounging at the front of the boat, with drinks in hand. He feels a certain serenity in this moment, being surrounded by all the people he loves and the water that instantly relaxes him.

After an hour, the sun is going down and the family becomes tired and hungry, so they head back to shore.

After they've scarfed down their hamburgers and hot dogs, its starts raining. They make their way inside to gather around the fireplace and have inside s'mores.

"So, Michael you got promoted at work? What do you do in your new job?" Becky asks after they've all gotten settled into seats.

"Its basically the same job, except I assign projects and I get to choose my own projects."

"Well that's good. So you've taken more of a boss position." Chuck comments.

"And how about you Jess. Are you excited for another new year teaching?"

Oh no, the moment Cas had dreaded. They were going down the siblings by age. He was next. He didn't want to dredge up his panic about moving away from home and having to become a full-fledged adult. He had been fine casually bringing up the move and making important decisions about it, but until now it hadn't felt real.

"I am excited. Sam just made me the cutest calendar to keep track of birthdays."

"So, you're only teaching half the year, right? And then taking the rest off?" Becky asks.

"Yes, that's the plan. I'm going to have a TA the entire time I'm teaching, and then she's going to take over."

"Eek, how exciting. Baby Winchester is on their way." Charlie squeaks.

"Oh speaking of which, we have some news regarding Baby Winchester." Sam speaks up from underneath Jess sitting on his lap. "It's a boy." His full grin reveals all of his pearly whites and all of his excitement.

"Bobby John?" Dean looks over at Sam; Sam and him laugh at the inside joke.

"We're a little ways away from choosing a name." Sam responds.

"That's a lie. We just can't agree on any." Jess laughs.

"And you Castiel, you're moving out! New school. New town. Are you excited?" Cas's mom's eyes finally settle on him. The words send an alarm to his brain and he can feel his lungs constricting.

"Yes, very exciting." He hopes they can move on quickly and ask Gabe about high school.

"And you're moving in with Dean. That's gotta be a relief, right?" She continues, trying to make the life altering experience seem better. It doesn't seem to help because he can now see spots. He imagines having to go grocery shopping by himself. Being away from his family, his best friend. Having no friends, except for Dean. He gets up too quickly and his whole body sways.

"I need some air." He stumbles to the door. He hears mumbles of concern. "I'm fine, carry on, just need air." He steps out on the patio feeling a blast of cool air on his face. He breathes in the cold air. The coldness steadies him just enough that he can walk to the dock. He sits down in the rain and tries to go down the list of things that help when your having a panic attack that his therapist had told him. _One. Breath. _He tries to breath deeply, but can only breath in quick short huffs. _Two. Excerise. The panic can't catch up to your body. _He tries to pick himself up to do some jumping jacks, but falls back down from his shaky legs. _Three. Realize that it is anxiety. Sometimes identifying helps stop it. _He labels his reaction as anxiety in his mind, but it only just reminds him that he is having a panic attack and that scares him more. _Four. Cry._ He feels warm droplets dropping from his eyes. It seems he had concealed them for a while, because a downpour of tears roll down his cheeks. It seems to be helping him breath and fight off the dizziness, although now his body is trembling from his sobbing. He's thankful the weather decided to be shitty, because the cool rain is making him feel better while wiping away the tears.

He takes a deep breath, when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, can I sit here?" Cas turns to see Dean peering down at him. He nods his head and turns his head away, trying to conceal his splotchy, panicked face.

Dean slides an arm around Cas and pulls him close.

"Hey, man, its fine to be scared of moving out. I mean I balled in my room for two hours before I left for school. I couldn't imagine leaving Sammy and Bobby for a school that was across the country."

Cas couldn't seem to calm down, his sobs sent tremors through his body, despite the comfort he felt being in Dean's arm.

"Okay, tell you what. I'll sit here and talk, and at any time you want to chime you can?"

Without a response, Dean continues, "You know, before this vacation is over I think we need to prank Sam. I mean last vacation we went on, he thought it would be funny to cut holes in the ass of my swim trunks. I still haven't gotten him back for that." Dean pauses, allowing Cas to speak up.

When he doesn't, Dean continues. "Your sister, she's one badass chick. I've never told Sam, but I'm so proud of him for finding her. I'm so happy for them. And because they got together, I got a whole new family. I'm so grateful for your family. I love them all to death. But I think I love you the most. The way you jump at any opportunity to help any of your family members. You have so much love, and it shows in how you are with your family…and your friends. Charlie's damn lucky to have you."

"I can't do it." Cas turns to finally face Dean, rain and tears muffling his vision of him. "I can't move out on my own. Like fuck, I had a full panic attack just thinking of moving out." Dean pulls Cas to his chest. Through the already soaked flannel shirt, he can feel the hot tears drip from Cas's face onto his chest. He uses his other arm to wrap around his front, keeping Cas close to him.

"Of course you can. Dude, I just saw you jump off a sketchy looking rope into sketchy looking water earlier. The way I see it, you're braver than me. I wouldn't even touch that rope."

"It's not even the moving out. I lived in dorms the past two years. It's just moving so far away. And I'm going to have to do all this stuff on my own. I can't even go grocery shopping by myself, because of my anxiety."

"Hey, you're not doing it on your own, I'm going to be in the room next door. How about we make a deal? I'll do all of the grocery shopping for the first couple weeks while you get used to the town, and then maybe after you can come with me? And we'll work from there?"

The racking sobs had subsided and Cas can finally feel air pump in and out of his lungs without any hitches.

"That sounds okay."

Dean took Cas's face in both his hands and looked in his eyes. "Good, because I am not moving without you. This is _our_ new adventure." They sit staring at each other, through the pounding of the rain and through the pounding of their hearts.

In Cas's mind he hears the beginning of Ed Sheeran's _Bloodstream_. Torturously, incrementally they lean towards each other, building sounds of Ed Sheeran's voice and complementing music. Cue _tell me when it kicks in_ and a guitar riff accompanied by influx of drums. Dean leans all the way and hesitantly positions his lips on Cas's, waiting for Cas to back away. When he doesn't, Dean continues. He kisses Cas adoringly, in a chaste way, until he feels Cas nip at his bottom lip. He opens up enabling Cas to smoothly glide his tongue in.

Cas thought if every time even the largest of panic set in, this would be the best way to distract him and calm him down.

"Well that makes moving with you a much more exciting prospect." Cas says as he pulls away.

Dean laughs, rubbing his thumbs under Cas's eyes, trying unsuccessfully in the rain to wipe away any remnants of tears.

Cas looked down at Dean's wet clothes clinging to his body.

"We should probably go inside and dry off."

"Good idea, but first." Dean draws Cas's face in again and kisses him much more enthusiastically and needy. When he pulls away he lets out a breath, Cas is left with his eyes blissfully closed wanting more. "Okay, come on." Cas flutters his eyes open as Dean picks him up.

He can't help but feel so much better with Dean's arm wrapped around his shoulders and his arm wrapped around Dean's waist. Screw moving and going to school, Cas was ready to take on the whole damn world.


	4. Chapter 4

It's been a week since everyone had returned home from the family vacation, and Cas still hasn't seen Dean. Dean wasn't present at the weekly family dinner, he hadn't attended the whole family gathering of painting the Winchester baby's room, and he was no where to be seen at Jess's birthday dinner.

Cas picks up a plate from the dishwasher and puts it in the cupboard. His mind keeps straying to the palpable tension between him and Dean. They hadn't spoken to each other the rest of the trip. The most interaction they had was staring at the other, until one of them noticed and then immediately looked elsewhere. Cas couldn't help but feel bad, they had been so incredibly close and comfortable with each other for those few minutes and now everything was so…uncomfortable.

As Cas is putting away the silverware, Sam walks in.

"Hey, Cas." He smiles and takes a seat at the counter.

"Hello, Sam." Hands being kept busy with separating spoons from forks.

There's a moment of silence between the two. Sam seems like he has something on his mind, but Cas doesn't want to prompt him into a discussion about his brother. "Have you talked to Dean lately?" Here we go.

"Uh, no."

"Hmm. Its just I know you two were pretty close and then all of sudden not so much."

Cas stays silent, not knowing really how to reply.

"Hey, guys." Jess walks over to Sam and takes a seat on his lap. "Whatchya talking about?"

"Cas and Dean."

"Oh, the sexual tension thicker than molasses. You need to hit that, lil bro."

"Ew." Cas and Sam say simultaneously.

"What? I'm getting a little tired of the constant eye fucking and avoidance of feelings."

"We don't 'eye fuck'. I don't even-" Cas starts but doesn't know quite what he's trying to say.

"Oh please do not tell me you don't like Dean." Jess rolls her eyes.

Cas looks over at Sam who only shrugs.

"He's in a relationship." Cas states simply, closing the dishwasher with a hip bump.

"Bela? Yeah, that's not gunna last." Sam scoffs.

"How's the baby, Jess?" Cas attempts to change the subject.

"Fine. Do you wanna know a secret?" She whispers, eyes glancing from side to side.

Cas leans into the counter.

"We decided on a name."

"In a week you two agreed on a name?"

"Well, a middle name." Sam clarifies.

"So…?"

"We're not going to disclose that information."

Cas laughs, because he _should_ have seen that coming.

Another week passes and still having not seen Dean, Cas doesn't expect him to show up to the Novak 4th of July celebration. The absence of Dean, causes Cas to reevaluate the near future he had been planning out for the past few weeks. The last few days he had spent thinking about whether he should ask his parents for some extra cash and just not rent out the extra room. He had also entertained the idea of buying a nice studio apartment and giving the two bedroom to Dean.

Cas is flipping through a textbook for one of his classes next semester, when he feels his phone vibrate next to him on the bed.

Jess:

12:07 pm: Hey, Cas, can you come downstairs and help Sam with the chairs, please?

Without replying Cas jumps up and makes his way out of his room to the backyard.

"Hey, Cas." Sam nods at Cas, while picking up one of the lounge chairs. A cushion slides off onto the floor. Cas picks it up and follows Sam to where there are already a couple chairs lined up.

"How are you, Sam?" The two make their way back to the pool area to grab more chairs.

"I'm good. And you?"

"Fine."

The two rearrange the rest of the furniture in silence.

When the chairs are all finally lined up in front of the short white fence, Sam collapses into one of them with a huff. Cas does the same and wipes sweat from his forehead with a swipe of his hand.

"You guys have an incredible view." Sam moves his arms to support his neck and then crosses his legs.

Cas looks out over the fence, past the drop off of the hill the house is set on. There's an expanse of green laid out in front of them. "Yeah, it is pretty nice."

"They set off the fireworks over there, right?" Sam points towards the right of the field.

"Yes, we'll have amazing seats."

"Ha, yeah."

"Is Dean coming tonight?"

Sam bites his lip. "I invited him, but I don't know if he's coming."

"Oh."

Sam gets up and slaps a hand to Cas's shoulder, "We should go help your dad with the drinks."

"Cassie, can you help me open this?" Alfie asks, holding out a ketchup bottle.

Cas leans over his plate to unscrew the cap.

Cas shoves his hot dog in his mouth, rather in a miserable mood. Charlie skipped the Novak barbeque to celebrate the 4th with her new girlfriend, and that meant he was now stuck at the kids table absolutely bored.

"Why so glum, Cas?" Gabriel pours a packet of sugar over his hamburger patty.

Castiel winces at the sight. "I'm not 'glum.'' He holds up quotation marks.

"Yeah you're right; I mean you get to spend the 4th of July with your two awesome little bros." Gabriel spits out in his sarcastic voice. "Cas, you haven't stopped pouting since Dad pulled out the grill."

"This is not how I envisioned spending my 4th of July." Cas takes a sip of his soda.

"Hey, Castiel." Cas's dad strolls up to the table with a bottle in hand. "Here. For the special occasion."

Cas accepts the bottle offered to him and reads the label: Blue Moon. He shakes his head, "I'm underage, Dad. I can't drink this."

Chuck places a hand on Cas's shoulder, "Castiel, you're nineteen. Live a little, drink it."

Cas's dad walks back to his table, leaving Cas with a bottle of beer in his hand. He takes a sip of the chilled beverage. He grimaces at the awful taste. "Why would anyone want to drink such a bitter drink?"

"It dulls your feelings. I suggest you drink up, Cassie." Gabriel chides.

Despite the dislike in the taste, Cas drinks the beer. After he's halfway through he feels a buzz through his entire body. His head feels a bit fuzzier, but that just means his anxiety is allayed. He finds he likes the feeling and continues drinking.

"Damn, slow down, Cas." Sam calls over from the grown up table.

This causes Cas to tip the bottle a bit farther up, allowing for more liquid to stream into his throat. The stream quickly slows and steadily decreases until it's just a couple drops.

"Dean!"

At the mention of the name, the last of the beverage gets stuck in Cas's throat. He puts the bottle down, looking around for Dean between coughs. He spots him on his way towards the grown up table.

"Hey, happy 4th everyone!"

"Dean, what are you doing here? We haven't seen you since the vacation." Becky, ever so curious, asks.

"Just a lot of preparing for the new gig; lesson plans, name learning. Had to show up for the 4th, though. Haven't spent one without Sammy once." He claps a hand on Sam's back.

"Well, go ahead and grab yourself a plate. Chuck made hot dogs and hamburgers."

"Great, thanks." Dean leaves the table to grab food.

The whole table shuffles around to make room for Dean.

Cas can't help but groan at the sight of himself sitting at a table that's a foot too short for him with a thirteen year-old and a four year-old. He was promised that when he turned eighteen he could sit at the adult table, and yet here he was. At a child's table, away from Dean. He feels like he's fifteen again, staring at Dean from the kid's table, endlessly talking to Charlie about how hot he is. Speaking of Dean, whom had not made any indication that he knew Castiel existed.

When he finishes his food, Cas takes out his phone.

Charlie:

6:43 pm: Charlie, he's here.

6:44 pm: Dean? Are you serious? What's happening tell me!

6:44 pm: He just showed up. And he is looking so fucking hot in a Van Halen shirt. Damn those jeans are hugging all the right places.

6:45 pm: Down boy, you are not in a proper situation to excuse yourself to take a shower. Did you guys talk?

6:46 pm: He won't even look at me.

6:48 pm: Aw Cas :( maybe you guys just need to talk. You are moving in with each other in a couple weeks.

6:49 pm: I'm not entirely sure that's still happening. How's your date going?

6:50 pm: Eh, she's no Johanson. But her family makes really good potato salad.

6:50 pm: That's all that matters.

6:51 pm: Well I have to go. We're going to set off sparklers. Update me if anything happens.

Cas sighs down at his phone, again left with just his two little brothers.

When the sun starts setting, the family begins taking seats to get ready for the fireworks.

Becky silently counts the chairs with her fingers and turns to Cas. "Castiel, would you mind getting a chair for Dean?"

"No, no. It's fine I can get a chair for myself."

"You're a guest, I'll get it." Cas retorts, noticing that Dean refuses to give Cas eye contact. He thinks back on earlier about the eye fucking comment. He can't deny its truth and it hurts now that Dean won't even spare Cas a glance.

"Nah, man. Really I'll get it." Dean starts making his way towards the pool.

"No, I insist. Wouldn't want you to feel ignored." Cas rushes past Dean with a surge of indignation, making a point to drive his shoulder into the back of Dean's as he passes.

Dean stills and stares after Cas.

Cas carries the chair back and places it next to Sam's. "Here you go."

Dean hangs his head, staring at the grass. "Uh, thanks man." He sits down without looking in Cas's direction.

Cas sighs deeply and makes his way towards his own chair, next to his brothers.

His fingers ghost over his phone in his pocket. He is itching to text Charlie, but doesn't want to disturb her on her date.

The fireworks start, and Cas buries further into his chair. The sound always made him uncomfortable. He turns his head from the display going on in the sky towards his family. His eyes land on Dean sipping from a bottle, staring enraptured at the fireworks. Cas stares at the lips pursed around the rim. He remembers their taste vividly. He licks his own lips; the ghost of Dean's make their presence known.

He's broken from his reverie when a bang explodes too close to him. Gabriel has opened a popper only a few inches from his face.

"Gabe! I'm gunna kill you." Cas jumps up from his chair, to chase the already fleeing Gabe.

He loses Gabe in the darkness of the backyard and finds himself standing in front of the sliding glass doors that lead into his home.

The fireworks behind him send off bangs and he thinks he would be much more happier inside, away from the noise. He knows from his room he can still enjoy the view, without the panic inducing sounds. So, he leaves the backyard and walks inside his house.

He's walking towards the stairs when someone abruptly walks out from the corner. Both unaware of the other's presence, they clash into each other.

"Oh, sorry." Cas looks up to see Dean staring down at him.

"Nah, that was my bad."

They both just stand in the kitchen looking at each other. Dean scratches the back of his neck. Cas is about to continue making his way towards the stairs, when Dean places one hand on Cas's lower back and pulls Cas towards him. He lays his lips on Cas's, kissing with urgency.

He pulls back, with obvious reluctance to do so. "Damn, I've been wanting to do that again, for a while." He huffs a laugh.

Cas tilts his head at Dean and squints his eyes. "What the _hell_ was that?"

"I-I-I wanted to kiss you. So I did." Dean's eyes grow large, immediately regretting his decision.

"So, you ignore me for two weeks, skipping on all the family events. Then come to one, only to blatantly disregard my existence. And then you just…kiss me?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry I shouldn't ha-"

"Why?" Cas interrupts.

"I just…" Dean sighs. "After that first kiss all I could think about was your lips and kissing you again. I got scared. I really like you Cas. I've _liked_ you for a while."

"I like you too Dean. I thought that was obvious considering apparently _everyone_ knows that I've had a crush on you."

Dean looks to his right, a smirk rising on his lips. "Ha, you know it was really cute when you would ask Jess to sit me next to you."

"You knew about that?" Cas groans. "Never trusting my sister again."

"I was flattered."

"So, then what's the problem? If we both like each other, why can't we just be with each other?"

"I'm gunna fuck it all up, Cas. This whole situation is just fucked. I mean there's Bela. The fact that we're moving in together in a couple weeks. I mean we're we really just supposed to carry on, move in together, become a couple, just like that?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"It just seems too easy."

"Dean, good things do happen."

"Yeah, but not to me. You don't deserve me Cas. I'll just fuck you up. Maybe you should find another roommate, I'll-" Dean stops talking when another pair of lips find his. He slots his body into Cas's, fingers threading through dark locks.

Cas fists his hand in the cloth displayed on Dean's chest.

"If there's anyone who isn't fucking me up, its you Dean. I mean maybe with mind games, but you make me feel so…at peace. That night on the dock, it's like…your touch and voice make me calm, you kept me grounded in the terrifying internal storm I was experiencing."

After he finishes speaking, Cas returns his lips to Dean's. He pulls at the fabric fisted in his hand, walking backwards, leading Dean up the stairs without extracting his lips. Dean stops for a second, pulling away from Cas, but keeping their foreheads touching.

"So are we doing this?"

"I'm in if you are."

And with that Dean closed the distance between them again. The kiss deepens the farther they go, hungry for each other, continuing up the stairs and down the hall. Dean pushes open the door behind Cas and they stumble into Cas's room. They collapse on the bed, Cas wrapping his arms around Dean's neck, pulling Dean down even closer to him. Dean places his hands on either side of Cas's head, holding himself steady above Cas. Cas slides his hands under Dean's shirt, feeling the dips and peaks of muscle.

After a few moments, Cas pulls back. "Wait, look." He gently pushes Dean's chest, urging Dean to get off of him. Dean obligingly rolls to the side.

Cas gets to his knees to pulls the blinds up from his window. When the blinds are all gathered at the top of the window, he gets pulled back down and finds himself wrapped up in Dean's arms on Dean's lap. He feels a kiss to his temple and smiles as he watches the explosion of colors outside accompanied only with the sound of his and Dean's soft breaths.


End file.
